And one more joke for ya?

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead enter an elevator. As they walk in they notice a small puddle of white liquid on the floor. The brunette bends down for a closer look, and states ';It looks like ***.'; The redhead stoops down a little closer, takes a deep breath through her nose, and proclaims, ';Yes, and it smells like ***.'; The blonde stoops down, closer still, puts the tip of her finger into the puddle, touches it to her tounge and exclaims, ';Well, its nobody from our building.'; !!!





How do you make your girlfriend cry during sex?


Phone her up.





A man got on a bus and as he was riding he saw a nun. He asked the nun if she would be interested in going on a date with him and possibly having some kinky fun. Of course the nun said ';no'; and got off the bus. The bus driver overheard the conversation and gave the man some advice. ';I know how you can lay that nun'; he said ';Every tuesday night at ten o'clock that nun goes to the cemetery and prays, all you have to do is dress up like you were from heaven and tell her you're God. Then she'll do anything you say.';


So the man goes to the cemetery at ten o' clock and sure enough the nun was there praying away. The man walks up to her and says ';I am your God and I want to experience human love making.'; The nun replied ';I am your servent, my Lord...except, can you do me from the rear so I still remain a virgin?'; and the man said, ';Of course.'; They did their deed and when they were finished the man jumped out of his costume and yelled ';HA! HA! I'm the man from the bus!'; and then the nun jumped out of her dress and yelled ';HA! HA! I'm the bus driver!';











And one more joke for ya?
My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.





We discovered that when I am in a good mood it turns green and when I am in a bad mood it leaves a big ******* red mark on her forehead.





The other day I told my neighbour Jerome that he was like Marmite.





He said, ';What, you either love me or you hate me?';





I said, ';No, you're black and you smell.';








I went to see Chubby Brown at the weekend. As soon as he came on stage I started shouting ';You fat bastard! You fat bastard!';


Then I was told by security that that sort of behaviour wasn't tolerated at the Labour party conference.








What do lesbians do after an argument?





They go home and lick each others wounds.





My daughter had a charades party for her birthday.


After my turn I was beaten up by the other dads.


It would seem, that holding my cock and wanking, furiously, while staring at my daughters friends is not the best was to do Gary glitter.And one more joke for ya?
Last one kind of scares me.


XD
LMAO!!!!!
hahah the 1st and last were funny, i've heard a joke similar to the last but this version is funnier. have a star
haha,





Q - what did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was pregnant?





A - are you sure it's mine?
sick....
the last one is very funny heres mine


a man and his wife are driving along when they hit somthing in the road they stop the car and the woman gets out too take a look she comes back to the car carrying a skunk the man ses your not bringing that thing in here and the woman says its ok il put it between my legs and the man replies wot about the smell
Lovee itt
v. funny 8/10 both



Q.... whats the only meat a vicar eats on sunday





A.... nun