SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY - How do you make your friend ';man up'; ?

Kay before I start, I DO NOT want sarcastic, rude answers. If that's all you have, then do your good deed of the day: spare me the frustration and go bother someone else.





Now, I have this friend who is always really whiny and emotional and .. he's a guy. Some other friends of mine are trying to teach him to..man up so to speak. I dunno.. it sounds kind of harsh, but he really is just... ridiculously whiny.





Examples:


His girlfriend broke up with him


Me: Well, look on the bright side. Enjoy being single. Give yourself some time off to prepare for your next relationship.


Him: If I ever have another one.





Him: I bought some condoms today.


Me: Cool.


Him: Not that I'll ever use them.





Him: This summer is so boring.


Me: Try to make it not boring? Have fun with whatever you have. Don't be pessimistic, you only have one life to live %26amp; you'll never get back the seconds that are going by right now, so don't spend them sad.


Him: I have nothing to do.


Me: Hang out with friends?


Him: They're all busy.





The point IS, he is constantly dwelling on the negative and I am the one friend that actually tries to help him see the good and he shoots down everything I say. I want him to snap out of it and grow some balls. How?





P.S. It doesn't help telling him to.SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY - How do you make your friend ';man up'; ?
He might just want attention and is immature like that..





Sooo try looking at that side of it.





Maybe he wants pity. I know people like that.





You can't change a person either, they have to change themselves.SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY - How do you make your friend ';man up'; ?
Well, it seems like your approach is too...abrupt. Why don't you just talk to him like a normal friend, and then bring it up more TACTFULLY that he should be more positive. You're being too blunt with your approach, if you ask me.





Yes, he's being ';emo'; and whiny, but your approach definitely won't help him ';man up';. Try a more tactful technique.
Yell at him, slap him if he cries, and if neccessary cuss
I think say ';snap out of it and grow some balls';. Just like that, get pissed. But be willing to lose the friendship.. he may thank you in ten years.
You know what, he could be depressed. Just saying, I would know. I feel like that was me talking there. It's hard not to dwell on the negative when you're depressed. Maybe he's got a reason to. Maybe it's biological and he's just like that for no reason. Yeah, that does exist.





Telling him to ';man up'; is not going to help. Invite him places. Try to make him laugh. Be silly. Little things like this can really cheer a person up.
i act the same way.


you should get him to hang out with either you or other friends or whatever. make him have fun and forget about his ';miserable'; life.


all i want is to hang out with someone and have somebody to talk to so i don't have to keep bottling up all of my feelings, you know what i mean?


just encourage him to talk to you if he's down.
Maybe you can ask questions to inspire him to think more positively. Like what would he like to be doing 5 years from now? Then maybe just encourage him to envision what smaller goals and steps to take to get there.
There are several ways to handle this, and none of them easy. People like this are drowning in their sorrows, and like a drowning victim, they'll try to grab at anyone close, even if it means drowning them too. Your first priority has to be making sure you're safe. If you're an excellent swimmer in these kinds of waters, you can try and help him out...





Otherwise, get clear.





Okay, now that that's said...





Lay it all out for him. How his behavior affects you, how it's making things worse for those around him. He'll probably take the opportunity to abuse himself...this is where you need to break the cycle.





You don't let him do it.





Period.





He can't say anything nice about himself, he needs to shut up. If there's a real problem, redirect him towards thinking about solutions. Whatever you do, resist the urge to mother the bad times away. You'd just be rewarding him by giving him the attention he wants, for doing all the wrong things.





Don't let him turn into a dependent.





That's not to say you cut him loose entirely. He still can't swim, so it's up to you to teach him how. Lead him to the connections he can't make. Don't be afraid to let him know when he's being dense. The occasional friendly kick to the *** can do wonders if you explain why it was necessary. Show him the things he isn't seeing, when he asks ( you'll have to encourage the questions ), and ask what he intends to do with the information.





Always make sure that it's his decision to reach out.





He has to help himself too.





Have I covered everything? Probably not. This process isn't easy. It can take months, or even years. It's up to you to decide if you have the power and the energy to help him.





One last word of warning: Some people can't be fixed with any kind of therapy. Sometimes the brain doesn't correctly absorb the chemicals it creates. He could be a victim of his own neurochemistry.





If all else fails. If he only gets worse..





Don't be afraid of sending him to a professional.





Depression is easy to treat. Nobody should have to suffer through it, who isn't out to hurt themselves.
give him a ********
This will be a serious answer, but you probably won't like it.





Firstly, when a friend is bummed, sad, down, maybe even depressed and it sounds like this guy is seriously bugged about something (like breaking up with his girlfriend), the last thing he needs is Little Mary Sunshine spouting platitudes about how everything should be and could be if he would only behave the way YOU think he should...not gonna work. Show a little compassion.





Telling him to ';man up'; in whatever words you may use is insensitive and won't get the job done. You have no idea what he is truly feeling. He is probably insecure enough and that will only make it worse. You can't make a person change or see things through your eyes. We all experience life in our own way and we all respond in different ways.





And if he did just break up with his girlfriend, that's reason enough for his ';whining'; (delightful term) right there. I'm sure we've all sounded a lot like that at one time or another.





If he annoys you that much, leave him alone. He's not going to change for you. Does he have any good qualities? Otherwise, is he truly a friend or is he a project?