';Babywearing';, unfortunately, is more for the benefit of the mother than the child. Sadly, it can certainly lead to delays in the social/emotional development of a youngster.
Trust your gut on this one.
~Dr. B.~Can baby wearing make your child antisocial?
I think you already know what you want to do.
I think baby's require their own space just like us and although it is nice and important to have cuddle time too much of a good thing can be bad .
Her is the best advice I got when I was pregnant from the health nurse.
People are going to give you loads of well meaning advice. Smile. Nod. And do what feels right and works for you.
Hope your child brings you as much joy as my 13 yr old still gives me.
one simple answer:
ROLE MODEL
the baby will be what you show it. you show it 'cling to me' and you signal that the world is scary and only you can 'protect' it.
S o what happens when you have to nip to shop or toilet and you ask your freind to hold it???
Baby gets terrified, big scary world and strangers -need mum - inseciurity, insecurity, insecurity ...
Listen - HAVE FAITH IN YOUR OWN NATURAL CHARACTER TO IMPROVISE AND HAVE FUN WITH THIS AMAZING LITTLE LIFE that will only live to adore and please you.
You want the REAL SECRET to a great confident little babe ... POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT.
If it goes wrong somewhere either touching things it shouldnt or eating something it shouldnt - take it away without any words or emotional reaction - just walk up confidently and take it and igore crying - if baby figures out what is right by eating the right thing or by letting go of the next same object - giveit loads of praise ...
If it keeps going wrong - point it out with a kind but firm 'no' and as it gets older explain what is behind that occasional 'no' - but MOST IMPORTANTLY when baby listens dont take it for granted - always ALWAYS praise it for thinking right and behaving right. It will be confident babe and will not be un-naturally scared of going wrong or the world or strangers.
invite friends, neighbours and family over and pass baby around - it will see the smiley faces and pick up on the relaxed atmosphere and learn that new things are not threats. Did you know that when you hold a baby up against you it can smell stress pheromones and also can hear and feel your increased heart beat wheny ou are stressed. Thats why - the poeple that are calm in the face of a baby with a bumped head, or a scared child are the ones the child will calm down with! they feel safe in the arms of a relaxed heartbeat and a normal smell .... they pick up on atmospheres like you wouldnt believe - verymuch like our canine freinds the dogs !!!! Their senses are amazing when you study them ...
Just dont over react, loose control or temper .. dont get stressed when baby is..stay calm and dont think you have to pamper it or it will learn to play you !!!! Reward it for being good by picking it up - rather than reward it for being crying/tantrumy by picking it up in those moments - they soon learn that good behaviour gets them more attention ..they are very smart you know !!!
Enjoy you new litttle life and stop worrying - YOU'LL BE GREAT !!!
As it gets older (1-3 years old) you will notice they will start to stare at you especially but also other people - they watch how they are dealiing with it - and the one that is relaxed and confident is the one that baby will want to be with ..make sure its you !!!!!!
by the way - tell your freind - its HER messing up the babe by being a sheeple ..following new trends to be 'effective' even when it is clear her child is suffering.
We are the only s pecies that does not learn that when we do something that creates the negative reaction / response we still do it over and over because other people tell us to!
Think for yourself and follow your own natural healthy personality - and learn not to listen as well as to listen when needed.
babywearing is the worst thing to do to your child(my frickin opinion)...yes it teaches them about disassociation, hiding from the world and being a mommy's kid....normal rearing ...normal up raising is best...just be a normal mom....BE NORMAL!! and you need to experience it that way too...normal....what is it with ppl trying to multitask...my best experience was holding my child when necessary and handling him the right way...being able to teach him who he needs to trust and who he needs to stay away from...not being attached to mom all the damn time. and when preschool comes around it wont be so tough ...and those years go by fast so appreciate all the time you have with your little one...mine is 11 and he is doing great. and I wish he was a baby because hes getting too big too fast =(
the child needs to learn btw by interacting with items around the house as well...if they fall they need to learn that, if they hurt themselves they learn...they have to experience all of the baby things, toddler things, etc... they have to learn it..its important ..if they dont get exposed to that and always overlyprotected and steered from all of that they won't learn much.
classic conditioning is needed for a child to function normally...
A baby that is younger than six months doesn't need to socialize with others than its primary care givers. What they need the most is to feel secure and to know that someone will answer and find out what's the matter when they cry. They learn social interaction every time their parents smile, talk, or otherwise interact with them.
Ten percent of all babies are difficult - meaning they will dislike any new or unusual situation you present them with. The rest can be categorized as slow-to-warm-up or easy. Seems like nature handed your girlfriend a baby with a difficult temper.
If you have a difficult child, or a shy child, you can help them adjust by gently encouraging them to explore the world and the people they meet. Don't force a crying/fearful child, but if the child is just acting slightly anxious you can engage it in a joint exploration: 'Look at auntie Lisa, can you see what a big smile she has?'
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