If you can testify to this, I would like your advice!?

My boyfriend and I recently just had sex for the first time. Afterwards he asked me if we both finished. I told him no, but it was okay because for some reason when I have sex with a guy, it just doesn't happen. It has been like that for years and years.





When I am pleasuring myself, I do have orgasms, but I know EXACTLY how to please myself. And I'm sure it will take longer for the guy I am dating to figure it out as well. But he felt really bad, which made me feel even worse. I tried to explain that even though I don't have an orgasm, the sex and the connection is still wonderful. He said it insulted his masculinity. I thought that was a little ridiculous. He kept apologizing. But it's something neither of us can help, it's just my body and it's been like this for years.





My question is, do you really get all depressed if you can't make your girlfriend have an orgasm when she assures you over and over that it's not your fault? How can I assure him any more than I already have?If you can testify to this, I would like your advice!?
This takes time to 'get to know' each other sexually. The bells and whistles don't happen the first time, and may not happen everytime. Take time to 'show him' what make you happy :) and make an evening of it and don't be embarrassed about it. It's like a shopping trip for your G-spot and not all men know, so have fun showing him (dribble chocolate on it!)If you can testify to this, I would like your advice!?
I think whe you guys have sex again, you need to sorta direct him, tell him what you like, have him try new things so that you can have yours too.....
well if you can pleasure yourself than whos problem is it.its his not yours you can do it on your own but not with him???
Some guys do, who are worried more about how they appear to others. Real guys understand that orgasms don't always happen to women, because their spots are never in the same place. A real guy understands this, and also understands that emotion connection is mainly what a woman craves for. Don't worry about it, he;'s just a boyfriend, and probably not your last.
I am like you, and I just kept reassuring him until he finally believed me.


Incidentally, it made him feel better if I incorporated my ';toy'; into our fun. We even learned how to time it well, so he was more than happy about satisfying me, no matter how it happened!





By the way, the majority of woman cannot climax from only vaginal penetration. If he is used to all former GFs having the ';o';, they were probably faking it.
This is very typical for most men. So the best thing you can do is show him and tell him what it takes to get you to that point. Most men do not know until some female has really shown him what to do.... However, most females simply lie about it because they are too embarrassed to show a man what they require, and often they do not know themselves. very sad and very true. So just show him and tell him and the two of you should be fine... Many men especially younger men have a false sense of security because women would rather lie and fake an orgasm rather than tell the truth... The older and wiser men know the difference from experience. Good luck and God bless****
it probably is insulting, just like not swallowing there *** is insulting to guys for some dumb reason...tell him exactly what you like and if that doesnt work... fake one :)
well i dont know cuz my man was the 1st 2 give me an orgasm i was a virgin for a long time and masturbated much but never had a single orgasm......i dont know
You can assure him by showing him what u like and dont like. I went through the same exact thing, this might sound strange but, try to put alittle more mind power into it. WHenever im with a guy at first i never have an orgasm, it takes time for me to get used to them and comfortable enough for me to allow myself to have an orgasm. it takes me months sometimes!!! Good Luck!!!!! and yes I do fake it for those few months lol
hun.. believe me.. if he doesnt feel like he is pleasuring you.. then.. his self-contiousness will go down. It's supposed to be the man's job to pleasure a women (not the women herself). If the guys doesnt feel like he's doing a good job.. then.. he wont feel as confident! If you really can't orgasm (after using the verbal way.. tell him where to move, what position, and how) then.. just fake it! You want to make him happy!! (or at least i hope!!) anyways.. hope you take my advice!
Just reassure him and show him what it takes for you to have an organism.
Oh my goodness, I have gone through the same thing. I thought something was wrong with me because I couldnt have an orgasm during sex. I did alot of research and found out that most women dont, most of the time they are faking it. I was dating a guy and things were going awesome, everything clicked. After we had sex a couple of times he asked why I wasnt having an orgasm, I told him I couldnt and he said it made him feel inadequate as a man. Needless to say we broke up. I am currently married now and I told my husband from the very beginning that I couldnt have one during sex, but that there were other things he could do to make me have one. He was fine with that and likes coming up with new ways to make me orgasm. So you just have to wait for the right guy, or a man that is comfortable with himself enough to try new things.
You can't. You have done all of the reassuring that you could have done already to him. However, you could throw in that you are not sure what he should do in order to make you have an orgasm during intercourse. The two of you will have to work together to try to figure this out, and practice together. Yes, it is more than normal for him to take offense to this. This is something that men worry more about than themselves. If they can please a woman in bed, it makes them feel like they are giving you what you need. It is just how they feel. My hubby is like that....but much worse. He thinks if I cannot have one at least five times, then he is not doing anything for me. Crazy! But it makes them feel kinda like a failure when they cannot accomplish this. It is a major set back in their ego. Just like if he could not get an erection with you, you would likely feel the same way he does when you cannot orgasm. Have him manually stimulate you and you show him what you like so that he will know more of what you do like. But with intercourse, neither of you know the best position for you to climax(since you have not ever climaxed during intercourse....it is a lot different.), so it will have to be a journey for you both.
As with all aspects in a relationship, sex must be open and communicated about. You are obviously able to orgasm and all you need to do is show him how. Take more time, do more foreplay and when he knows your ';spot'; there should be no more p[roblems on that score.
Sounds like your boyfriend is a bit young and/or a bit macho. alas.





I am not sure you can assure him any more. Perhaps he needs to read it or see it somewhere.





My first girl had difficulty orgasming with a guy. And it bugged me, but I did not take it personally and encouraged her to enjoy the moment. Now it did bug me that I heard through the grapevine that she was orgasming with the fellow she dumped me for, but after much thought I figured I taught us both something.





That relationship both during and after sent me on a search through books and vids .. with the result being a simple answer...





be nice. be open. enjoy what you both can. With practice, orgasms as a couple can be achieved. but it may take some manual stimulation or some other foreplay.
If he really does care for you, then yes, he may be depressed if he can't bring you to orgasm. Describing his feelings as ';insulted'; masculinity may be a bit much, but your thinking of that as ridiculous may just make the situation worse. Like you not being able to orgasm with another person, he can't help if he feels less virile because of the situation. Think of how you would feel if the shoe...uh, condom...was on the other, um...foot(?)





It may be too early in your relationship for professional advice, but he might feel better if you two went to a clinic that specializes in sexual issues to find out why this is happenning, or should I say not happenning.... You may get some help there that would be very valuable to you!
It is insulting...he wants to turn you on. Fake it - tell him he turned you on. Tell him you had an orgasm.